Always
by NellieWu
Summary: Chloe’s POV. Don’t know what else to say without giving away the plot. Um, Character death…sort of…Wow, summaries are tough


**A/N: Song is "My Immortal" by Evanescence. Lyrics to the song appear in the story in italics.**

**Disclaimer: The WB, DC Comics, Gough&Millar, etc own the characters. The plot is my own.**

**Summary: Chloe's POV. Don't know what else to say without giving away the plot. Um, Character death…sort of… ****Clark** decides not to live a double life… Wow, summaries are tough.****

**A/N #2: I would like to dedicate this story to another author on ff.net, Megan, whose story "Perfect" introduced me to the great album "Fallen" by Evanescence.**

**A/N #3: My first fanfic. Please R/R.**

**Always**

_i'm so tired of being here  
suppressed by all of my childish fears  
and if you have to leave  
i wish that you would just leave  
because your presence still lingers here  
and it won't leave me alone_

_these wounds won't seem to heal  
this pain is just too real  
there's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears  
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears  
and i've held your hand through all of these years  
but you still have all of me_

She almost hadn't come. But she wanted…no *needed* to say goodbye. She had always regretted the way things had ended. But she was too stubborn to ask for forgiveness. She hadn't wanted or needed his forgiveness, or so she had thought at the time. She had wanted him to suffer. Now he was gone. Now that it was too late, she had come to say sorry…sorry and goodbye.

It was not how she imagined. It wasn't bleak. It wasn't raining. When had the sun ever shone so brightly? When had the sky ever been so blue? How could the world just go on when something so tragic had occurred?

Mr. Kent held his wife's hand in his, her head leaning on his broad shoulder. Pete stood near them, his family around him for support. Lana stood by herself, tearing streaming down her face. The rest of the faces rushed through her mind like a movie. There were so many people present. He had touched so many hearts; had helped so many people. He had saved so many lives. 

She had lost count of the times he had saved her. Sean, Justin, Officer Watts, the parasite, Ian. She had once told him "It's you. It's always you." He had never known just how revealing that comment was. She was always just Chloe, his best friend. And in the beginning that had been enough. But eventually she had wanted more. Much more than he was capable of giving.

_you used to captivate me  
by your resonating light  
but now i'm bound by the life you left behind  
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me  
  
these wounds won't seem to heal  
this pain is just too real  
there's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears  
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears  
and i've held your hand through all of these years  
but you still have all of me_

How could she not have wanted more? She had seen him at his best. She had seen him at his worst. And he always remained Clark…sweet, handsome, sensitive Clark who saw the good in everyone and everything. There was a light that surrounded him, and aura of good and love and something else that was beyond words, beyond description.

They had tried. And it ended so quickly. It didn't even last past the first date. And she had known with every fiber of her being that even though he had all of her heart, she would never have all of his. So she had played the friend card. She had rejected him before he could reject her. "Just Friends" was better than nothing, she chanted to herself at night. When you were scared, upset, needed comfort, you turned to a friend. She had consoled herself with that thought for months, making herself believe it would be enough. And it had been…until that day…until that fight.

She felt the tears but they would not fall. She had cried out all her tears the past week when she had first heard the news. She did most of her crying in her sleep, when she dreamed. Not dreams really, but memories that became nightmares. Every fight that was her fault. Every harsh word she had uttered. When she slept they became exaggerated. She had eventually gone to the doctor for a sleeping aid, something that would knock her out and let her have a dreamless sleep. And yet she had still woken up to a damp pillow.

_i've__ tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
and though you're still with me  
i've been alone all along_

_when__ you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears  
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears  
and i've held your hand through all of these years  
but you still have all of me_

Long after the service, she still remained. She had wanted, needed to say goodbye in privacy.

She traced the engraved letters, the gravestone cool to her touch: 'Clark Kent, Beloved Son, Always In Our Hearts.'

"Clark. I'm so sorry. Sorry for that day, sorry for all the years I wasted being young, and naïve, and stupid." A heart-wrenching sigh tore through her chest. She had thought herself physically incapable of shedding another tear; she was wrong.  "You're not really gone. Not for me. I may appear alone to the outside world. But we both know the truth. You'll always be with me. You'll always save me. And you will always have all of me. Always." She leaned down and kissed the top of the marker. "I love you."

She walked away, heading for her car. She needed to leave. She had gathered every ounce of strength she possessed to come to Smallville to say goodbye. But her honest and emotional parting had drained the remaining strength from her. She kept thinking how she should have said those words to him so long ago. Maybe he had heard her from wherever he now was.

Tears blurring her vision, she stumbled. She waited to hit the ground but never did. Something had stopped her fall. No, not something, but someone. It wasn't him. She knew this logically. But the heart doesn't listen to logic, and for the briefest moment she saw his face. After all, it was *always* him. It was always Clark to her rescue. But then her analytical mind overruled her heart. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she smiled at her savior. 

"Thank you, Superman"

 "Chloe..."

She didn't allow him to finish. She just turned from him, leaving him, his cape billowing in the gentle breeze. She never looked back, never seeing the anguished look on his face. Never hearing "You still have all of *me*, Chloe" whispered into the wind.

--The End--


End file.
